How to be a good gay bottom


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If you received the kiss, you're the submissive one. There is no aspect of sex that doesn't have, at its core, an aspect of power.

So part of the thing that you have to ask yourself is, 'What am I comfortable with? Do I like initiating sex?

How Do I Know if I’m a Bottom?

Do I like telling my partner what to do, or do I like being told what to do? You might like taking your car for a service just as much as servicing it yourself.

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As Miller explains, there are outside forces that, dating back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men from truly digging into what sexual behaviors we might actually enjoy. The ongoing fetishization of masculinity means that the traditionally submissive role of the bottom is associated with effeminacy.


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  • Chris White, an expert in health promotion and the director and principal investigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network in San Francisco, takes this one step further. So there's some shaming there. And it's feminine type shaming, as well. Start with you receiving on top and gaining control of your muscles before moving around to new positons.

    Injury happens to the best of us: Proper techniques are obviously a must, but even brand-new cars can break down.


    • Tips for Tops: Keep Your Bottom Satisfied With These 6 Tricks of the Trade;
    • How to Know If You’re a Top or a Bottom - GQ.
    • Shame-Free Tips on How to Be a Better Bottom.
    • 17 Tips for Happier, Healthier Bottoming.
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    • The most common issues related to anal sex trauma are tears, also known as anal fissures. Most anal fissures will heal themselves with proper care, but fissures that become chronic will require surgical intervention.

      A Word of Warning From Writer Alexander Cheves

      Be honest with your body: Small, petite frames and pelvises just may not be able to accept those of the more well-endowed variety. Be realistic with your goals, and realize that you may need work up to this over several months.

      7 Anal Sex Tips: Opening Up A Gay Bottom

      Use it or lose it: The key to continued ease of bottoming is to be consistent in using the above dilation methods, even throughout sexual dry spells. Keep at it so the next experience is a pleasurable one. Engage a specialist: The process to becoming a pro at bottoming can be daunting, but it is totally achievable if you follow the above process. If all else fails, see a specialist in gay sexual health and wellness, who can provide both medical — such as personalized dilation and Botox — and surgical options including anal restoration to help improve results and assist in relaxation of the muscles.

      How to Bottom: Queer Guide to Anal Sex Part 1 - them.

      Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical which has offices in New York and Beverly Hills , has extensive experience educating gay and bi men on health care issues specific to the community, including: All Rights Reserved. Search form Search. Print Issue Current Issue.

      Tips on increasing your sexual health and pleasure.

      Shame-Free Tips on How to Be a Better Bottom

      By Dr. Evan Goldstein. Latest News News. How One t. Love and Sex.